No, Really, It Totally Is About Me

  • Got a nice little icon on my dashboard this morning wishing me a happy anniversary from WordPress.  I’d rather have the cash.  Or a gift card.  I actually like gift cards better than cash, because you get fun stuff with gift cards and with cash you’re like “yeah, I have cash, I can stop for milk and bread.”  Unless it’s a Visa or American Express gift card.  I hate those because they charge you to spend your own money and how 1984 is that?  Except we’ll have to change that to 2084 and I won’t be around for that, so no biggie.
::looks disapprovingly at Visa and Amex

::looks disapprovingly at Visa and Amex::

 

  • I do not like spicy food, and I don’t get the whole sriracha thing.  Why do people want to burn off their taste buds?  Do they not like the taste of food?  Do they not understand the point of food, which is to taste it?  The point is not to sweat and wipe away tears and wave at your tongue in a desperate bid to cool off the raging inferno that is now your mouth.  Just give me tasty food, please, in mah mouf.

 

right here

right here

 

  • I liked doing craft shows back in the late 90s, because it gave me a thrill when somebody admired my work and actually plunked down cold hard cash (to go towards bread and milk, clearly) to buy my things.  I would calligraphy cute or humorous (or even sarcastic) sayings and put some innocuous artwork with it and either frame it or put it in a magnet or some sort of display item.  I was usually the only such craftsperson at a typical show, but then along came Microsoft Word and they had a calligraphy font on there and people started making signs with clip art for next to nothing and customers are not discriminating so they bought those as well and I discovered it’s not fun to sit at a craft show all day and not sell stuff so I stopped.  Well, that, and I got a day job.  Now that I don’t have a day job people are asking if I’m going to return to doing craft shows.
Just don't even go there.

Just don’t even go there.

 

 

  • I’ve thought about writing about education issues since I have experience, background, and a point of view, but it’s dangerous for my blood pressure to go that high.  I started writing a young adult novel and I based it on my students and while I thought it was a pretty good beginning, I haven’t touched it since November and I have not felt a need to do so.  Of course, it made me think of *that place* that I left and there we have the blood pressure problem again.  Maybe it would be better if I wrote something else.  Hmm, maybe I’ll start a blog!  Oh, wait….
Because you already have a blog, see?  See why it's funny?

Because you already have a blog, see? See why it’s funny?

 

 

  • I’m not ashamed to say I enjoy me some pop culture.  I’m in love with the Doctor, I’m currently binge-watching Once Upon A Time (So bad story. Much pretty face. Very wow.), and I will check out all celebrity gowns on all red carpets.  It doesn’t make me a bad person, much like enjoying an occasional Slurpee (without the brain freeze, thank you very much) so when I see those passive-aggressive blog postings about “well I don’t know anyone who owns a TV anymore, it’s so unhealthy for the children” it makes me want to send them a bag of Fritos and a box of Twinkies and say “get over yourself and watch a little Friends.”
Who could turn up their nose at Kermit?  Get real!

Who could turn up their nose at Kermit? Get real!

 

  • This is about as far as I can go on the “All About Me” stuff because I can’t think of one more thing remotely interesting to say about myself.  So on this one-year anniversary of the blog, I leave you with this image:

 

I'll let you know what happens.

I’ll let you know what happens.

 

 

 

 

 

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “No, Really, It Totally Is About Me

  1. Karen Murad

    Sriracha is actually milder than tabasco 😛 also supposedly it keeps you looking younger because all the sweating and blood rising in your cheeks is good for circulation (?)

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