Step right up, folks, and enjoy the thrills and spills and chills of the Emotional Roller Coaster! You’ll soar to great heights and plunge to murky depths! Your breath will be snatched from you and hurled back into your face with lightning speed! You’ll gasp in awe and moan in agony! What are you waiting for? Climb aboard!
It’s been one of those months.
May is just a gorgeous month, but it’s almost like Christmas with sensory overload everywhere. Those sensual dogwoods and magnolias bursting open with their wanton displays of blossoms in deep pinks and blushes, those hussy azaleas with their purple passion arms open wide, those haughty and imperial purple iris royally waving to all, the insistent blue phlox spreading their carpet everywhere and demanding you tarry for awhile…..It makes the head spin and convinces me that I could be a master gardener, just let me take a quick trip to the local nursery and get some plants. I have to slap myself pretty hard to get out of that one.
Then there was The Graduation. Younger Daughter is now a full-fledged adult, and we have moved on, as parents, into a different phase of our life. I could call it the Yay-Now-I’m-Not-Responsible-For-You-Anymore, but that’s not how I feel because I’m still pretty much a hands-on mom. (I think my girls would more accurately describe it as Nosybody Mom, but they don’t have blogs so I get to pick the titles.) (And if they do have blogs, I don’t know about it so it’s kind of the same thing. Work with me, people.) It’s more of a feeling of mild astonishment at launching two children successfully through the elementary (wow, that’s a TERRIFIC model of a volcano!), middle (wow, that’s a TERRIFIC model of a DNA strand!), and high school (wow, you’d better get cracking if you want to get into a good college so make a better model of a dilithium crystal!) years. (I don’t even know if there is a dilithium crystal or if you can even make a model of it. I’m on a roll and I don’t let English language rules get in my way sometimes.) We did the FAFSA and wept at the results, used almost all of my paychecks when I had them, and finally succumbed to student loans but we’re not drowning so we feel successful and besides, we love pasta for dinner six nights per week. (I kid. It’s only four.) There’s just something about seeing your offspring that you once died a thousand deaths at leaving them in pre-school donning that cap and gown and processing into a huge arena that makes you say “huh.” And inspires reflection.
And we celebrated a birthday of the Hubby which got swallowed up by the graduation, but we still managed to pull off a cake and presents and I made a marble cake with chocolate frosting. From scratch. Cake mix is from the debbil, and so is canned frosting. Forget the fact that Hubby WANTED Duncan Hines cake mix because it was so moist; he will eat my efforts even though they’re a bit on the dry side (why did this cake call for no oil?) and be happy because he’s that kind of Hubby. I hit the jackpot with him. And because I hit the jackpot, I will keep experimenting with this cake recipe until it is as moist as that chemical concoction in a box, and he will be awash in cake. Hmmm, maybe not the best plan for a diabetic….
Then other life things get in the way and you just want to hurl things about the room and say “For Crying Out Pete’s Sake, can I not enjoy just ONE DAY of awesomeness without being pulled down into a boggy swamp of problems?” Really, timing is a harsh master. I want time to reflect and review and savor before I have to react and plan and facilitate. And you know what? I’m going to. I’m going to deliberately not plan anything today. Crisis can wait. It didn’t happen overnight and I don’t need to solve it overnight so I am going to enjoy this day and stuff myself full of happy memories and warm feelings. Then maybe I’ll be ready to fight the two-headed dragon.