First, I apologize (if you’re a Broadway fan) for planting that earworm, because now you’re going to be saying “Everybody rise!” If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry. If you do, I’m sorry.
Great beginning. I really know how to hook an audience.
Secondly, let’s get this straight: I’m not a lady who lunches. Yesterday I went to lunch with two female friends of mine, so we were ladies who lunched, but I’m not a Lady Who Lunches. There’s a big difference.
A Lady Who Lunches usually has this appointment carefully noted on her calendar. I had it noted, but it was on the wrong week in two different calendars, as well as being mixed up with a doctor’s appointment that should have been the following week. I was definitely looking forward to it, my brain just got scrambled. Much like the eggs Older Daughter made for breakfast yesterday. Random!
Ladies Who Lunch choose their outfit with great care: who is going to see them, who might see them, who might comment on their appearance, etc. I decided to wear jeans instead of capris because I thought the restaurant might be air conditioned and also because I hadn’t shaved in the shower that morning. During my shower a massive thunderstorm moved in and I honestly thought I was going to be electrocuted through the water stream so I hightailed it out of there as soon as possible, leaving behind my razor and my Skintimate (for sensitive skin!) and hoping the lights would stay on. I did spare 30 seconds thinking about my shirt: it was not a t-shirt, it had shape and some small gathers in strategic places and it covered my upper arms. (Women over 50, you understand what I’m getting at, right? Please say right.) It was also a cherry-burgundy-merlot color, a bit autumnal for August, but hey, I can’t have every criteria met all the time.
Ladies Who Lunch spend careful time with their hair and makeup. Oh, okay, I did that. I dried my bangs and rearranged my long wet hair into a charming wrapped tail and stuck it in place with a honking big clip. I went all out and put on a liquid foundation because it had SPF 15 and I figured if there would be any sun at all, I would be in good shape. Then I chose a navy blue eye pencil instead of my normal dark brown. I’m a rebel, I tell you. I think the entire operation lasted a good minute and 23 seconds.
Ladies Who Lunch choose a charming country inn or a metropolitan hotspot or a hotel with fabulous salads. We went to Houlihan’s because we said we hadn’t been there in at least ten years and it was a good meeting spot. And there wasn’t a salad or clever deconstructed anything on our plates. Our appetizers were Artichoke-Goat Cheese poppers and Three-Cheese Fries. Hey, we were fulfilling our dairy requirements, okay? A reuben, a french dip, and a crispy chicken sandwich were our weapons of choice, followed by dessert and hot beverages. And we finished it, too. This was how we showed each other how much we loved and supported each other: we go for the gusto and have fun doing it.
We had our serious moments, too. It had been six months since we’d been together, and while we keep in touch, we needed face time for the more in-depth discussions of husbands, adult kids, tragedy and loss, birth and joy, and life situations. I was finally able to share my situation; to see the love and support reflected in their eyes and feel their comforting hands rubbing my shoulders meant the world to me. It is a difficult story to share but at lunch with my ladies there was not a single bit of hesitancy on my part, and no holding back on theirs. They each responded with the characteristics that have kept them near and dear to my heart for so long.
Now those are real Ladies.